Saturday, September 18, 2010

Try This Metaphor On For Size...

I don't know why I post the things I post. Like when I get my hopes up about something (see the last two posts about potential moves for us). I get all excited and then...

BAM.

It falls through.

The lady in Seattle? She still wants us.

I still want to go.

But I don't think it's going to happen.

"Not under these conditions," someone said.

I hate Provo.

I hate my job.

I want OUT.

I feel like I'm a fish on dry land, slowly suffocating. Or better yet, I feel like a fish in a plastic carnival bag that is slowly leaking water. Yep. Like this:



I'm running out of room to breathe, to swim, to be happy and alive. And here comes this net, ready to scoop me up. But I can't tell if the net will drop me into the ocean where I can breathe and be free and happy, or if it will simply drop me into a small bowl where I will continuously swim in circles, surrounded by my own fecal matter.



So no, I don't think we are taking this Seattle job. "Not under these conditions." (Makes snide, mocking face.)

I'm pissed.

Time For Another Fortunately/Unfortunately Story...

Fortunately, my husband and I are both college graduates now.
Unfortunately, I picked a terrible major for which to acquire a job.
Fortunately, my husband picked a specialized major for which he has a deep love and where jobs are typically plentiful.
Unfortunately, the whole "economy being terrible" thing has hit his job market in the area of internships and low-level positions, so now companies only have positions that are contractual or are for people with 3-5 years experience.
Fortunately, the place with the most freelance and contractual jobs to offer is Seattle (and the surrounding areas, where we would love to live.
Unfortunately, Seattle is expensive and paying rent for an apartment when you aren't sure if and when you will have a job and get paid is scary.
Fortunately, the idea occurred to us that apartment managers typically get free rent.
Unfortunately, we don't have any experience managing apartments, and there sure aren't any positions in Provo to get us started.
Fortunately, there are 2-3 postings a day on Craigslist for ads for apartment managers.
Unfortunately, (and obviously) no one that posts those ads wants to hire someone from out of state.
Fortunately, one of the first jobs we applied for, we got a phone call back and the owners were so excited to meet us that they were willing to Skype-interview us.
Unfortunately, we never heard back from them. Even after sending an email saying "If you found someone else to fill the position, that's great. But please let us know!"
Fortunately, there were a ton of other want-ads, so we kept applying.
Unfortunately, we only heard back from two other owners, both of whom we didn't get a response from after we said we were out of state and could not make it in for an interview the next day at 9:00 a.m.
Fortunately, I got a voicemail on Thursday from a lady with a 20-unit complex that wanted to phone interview us.
Unfortunately, she wanted to have a phone interview basically to pre-screen before she would make up her mind if she wanted us to come into the office for an actual interview. So I never called back.
Fortunately, she noticed on our resumes that we are BYU graduates and secretly, she was hoping to hire an LDS couple. So she called again.
Unfortunately, I was at my crappy job that I hate, so I didn't answer.
Fortunately, Zac had his phone on him so she called him.
Unfortunately, Zac was caught off-guard and didn't know how to respond to any of her questions.
Fortunately, he told her just to call me and leave a message and I would call her back asap. So she did. Then he texted me and told me, "got a call from an apartment place in seattle. the lady said she is mormon and likes the idea of hiring mormons and needs someone like now."
Unfortunately, I was still in the middle of work and didn't have time to call her back.
Fortunately, when I did listen to her message and call her back, she was thrilled. We talked for a good 15 minutes about the job, the pay, and about how soon we could get there.
Unfortunately, the compensation for the job is only half rent credit. We would still have to come up with $450 a month.
Fortunately, I explained our desire to be managers was for the free rent. Then she said we could have until at least November free. She also said that with the three other properties she manages, she would throw work our way (painting, cleaning, turn-overs, etc), to help compensate for the other half of our rent.
Unfortunately, it's only a two bedroom.
Fortunately, it has a washer, dryer, dishwasher, and a fireplace.
Unfortunately, and this is a BIG unfortunately, she wants us there in a week. Like, pack up the entire apartment, quit my job, and drive to Seattle by next weekend.
Fortunately, it gets us to Seattle with extremely discounted (if not free) housing.

But do you see why I'm stressed?????