Saturday, September 18, 2010

Try This Metaphor On For Size...

I don't know why I post the things I post. Like when I get my hopes up about something (see the last two posts about potential moves for us). I get all excited and then...

BAM.

It falls through.

The lady in Seattle? She still wants us.

I still want to go.

But I don't think it's going to happen.

"Not under these conditions," someone said.

I hate Provo.

I hate my job.

I want OUT.

I feel like I'm a fish on dry land, slowly suffocating. Or better yet, I feel like a fish in a plastic carnival bag that is slowly leaking water. Yep. Like this:



I'm running out of room to breathe, to swim, to be happy and alive. And here comes this net, ready to scoop me up. But I can't tell if the net will drop me into the ocean where I can breathe and be free and happy, or if it will simply drop me into a small bowl where I will continuously swim in circles, surrounded by my own fecal matter.



So no, I don't think we are taking this Seattle job. "Not under these conditions." (Makes snide, mocking face.)

I'm pissed.

7 comments:

Sara said...

I TOTALLY TOTALLY know how you feel! It definitely sucks when you don't know what's going to happen and you're trying to make plans and move on with your life. I was ready to get out of Provo too and now I miss it like CRAZY! :) I feel like I'm still waiting for life to start. We've been in Dallas for 3 months now and Tyson still hasn't gotten paid and won't until November! Even then it will be extrememly minimal for a YEAR!! Enough to get by and we're going to have to defer our student loans for awhile- bleh! We're living on the very very last of our student loans plus credit cards, which we max out at the end of each month just to turn around and make a payment and then use it during the following month. Yeah, it's fun! :) Anyway, I know how you're feeling and just wanted to let you know you're not alone. What you're saying rings very clear to me. I know that prayers are answered, though and that the Lord is preparing something great for you guys. I think that once this year is over that things will be a lot better for us- we're just holding on! Good luck with everything. You're great! Love ya!

Brad and Hailey said...

I'm sorry!

Mike and Cambra said...

If it makes you feel any better...although the ocean may seem great and inviting.. a goldfish would die in it's salty waters. If it doesn't make you feel any better... I have a king sized symphony bar stashed away for these type of circumstance enducing moods. I could mail it your way. I hope things look up for you guys soon!

Cel and JP said...

To continue with the metaphor, my friend Dory says: Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming :) you'll make it. there's a light.

The JL McGregor Family said...

Sarah--I'm sorry! I think I feel some of your pain... we left WyMount thinking we had the perfect job, and 18 months, a home, 1 more child, and a 2nd car later... we lose it. We're staying afloat, but it's not the cushy life we were hoping for... and I know, deep down, that in 20 (2 please!) years from now we will all have gotten through this--because let's be honest--there is no other option. But it's tough right now. Thinking of you!

Nivedita said...

well written...well described....
can almost feel your frustration....

saya said...

Your are funny