I don't want this post to sound whiny, but it does. And I'm not looking for support or reassurance, I simply want to be able to reflect on this last year the way I do the first half of 2006...as a basis of comparison, and to remind myself of the low points and that things can only get better. You see, 2010 hasn't been good to us. In fact, 2010 has pretty much sucked. Looking back over the last year in blog posts, the few good things that happened can easily be seen in a negative light.
Like me getting a job and earning more money = hating my job, being tired and stressed all the time, and feeling guilty for the rest of my life that I was away from my kids so much for 9 long months.
Or like us getting the mini van = more car repairs than I care to think about.
Trip to LA = cost us a lot of money and didn't yield any results for jobs or even contacts for Zac.
Moving to Seattle and living with the Williams' = not having any friends or job offers and feeling like I'm in the way all the time.
See what I mean? I hate to be such a Debbie Downer about it all, but it's been rough. And that was the "good stuff" that happened. Forget all of the other crap that I don't want to go into detail about. Unemployment, deaths, fighting, unemployment, debt, computers breaking, did I mention unemployment? This year has pretty much been comparable to our first six months of marriage which were probably the worst six months of my life (not because of being married, mind you, but because of all of the other awful things that happened to me in those six months...deaths, unemployment, severe anemia, school issues, etc...all that other crap that I don't wish to think about).
So yeah. Here's to hoping for a better and brighter 2011.
And speaking of bright, here are some pictures of my beautiful kids in the bright sunshine. (These were taken a few weeks after moving to Seattle at our new favorite park that is right down the road.)
We'll take a cup of kindness yet,
for auld lang syne.
Friday, December 31, 2010
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3 comments:
So pretty much I feel the EXACT same way you do! We weren't unemployed but employed and UNPAID- so pretty much the same thing. :) Got our first check in November. Not getting paid enough- just barely enough to meet our most basic needs. Had to defer all our loan payments. Still on Section 8, food stamps, Medicaid, and WIC. I feel your pain! Just wanted to let you know you're not the only one out there! Glad to hear we aren't either. ;) Here's so a better year! Miss ya!
I know you asked for neither support nor reassurance (so basically this is unsolicited commenting - your favorite kind, right?) but because of your unique experiences, you become an even better servant for the Lord. I think of all the lives you are able to touch and minister to because you have compassion and empathy (not just sympathy) for those in similar circumstances. You and Zac are in God's hand and He is leading you down the path that is best for your family in an eternal way. I'll be praying for you.
Oh my Sarah that does sound miserable!! It is a horrible economy right now. When Lars and I moved to California we thought "yes this will be awesome and we will love it etc.." but it was a lot tougher than we expected, and we don't even have kids! So I can't imagine how much harder it must be for you guys. I know things will get better, but it sucks having to wait for it to happen. Good luck and keep me posted!
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